By Melissa Face
While it’s unlikely that any of us will ever completely avoid guilty feelings, we can create a better balance and a healthier mindset. One way to begin is by acknowledging what we are doing well in motherhood (and in life) and focusing on those positive moments. I spoke with a few local mothers about their experiences and asked them to “toot their own horns” of motherhood. Here is what they had to say:
“I am a good mom when I pick my children up from school and we have conversations about their day, including their friends, and I know who each friend is and something previously shared about them. I believe it shows my children I care enough to truly listen to them and that I am present and active in our conversations.”
-Michelle Newby
Williamsburg
“I wanted to work and have a family, and while it is not easy and the concept of work- life balance is more like work-life Tetris, they see the juggling and prioritization and sometimes the sacrifice it takes to have financial independence and maintain a family (and occasionally a social life!) and I believe they can use that in their own lives no matter what their dreams or goals may be. I believe my children know they are important to me, but by no means do they think the world revolves around them because they know I play multiple roles. Sometimes I have to take that call or go to that meeting, and they see that hard work and commitment are what it takes to continue to be successful. They have to be second sometimes so they can be first more often.”
-Carrie Long
Virginia Beach
“I know I’m a good mom when those sweet little arms wrap around my neck, and he gives me a hug, and tells me he loves me no matter how the day has been. It’s the little comments: thanks for playing with me; I liked reading that book with you; or thanks for holding me, that make me feel like a good mom. My baby girl makes me feel like a good mom when she cries in everyone else’s arms because she’s so attached to me. Haha!”
-Samantha Graham
Suffolk
“I feel guilty as a mom when I think about the different activities I didn’t get my kids in due to work schedules or because we didn’t have time. A positive aspect of being a working mom is being able to contribute to our household financially, and my kids really seem to understand and genuinely appreciate why I go to work (to provide for them).”
-Crystal Adkins
Virginia Beach
“I feel like a good mom when I am able to be truly present with my children. Those 15 minutes driving to school in the morning are precious and an opportunity to really have an intentional conversation with the kids, even though my mind is often running through which meetings I have coming up and if I have everything prepared. I realize how little time I have to pour into my four children and how much I treasure when I can be present in the conversations, the stories, and the moment.”
-Kelly Durick
Suffolk
Melissa Face 