If it weren’t for both of my kids, I wouldn’t have an essay collection. And if it weren’t for Delaney, it probably wouldn’t be titled I Love You More Than Coffee. When she was about three and a half, Delaney climbed in my lap and asked me if I liked her more than cookies, then candy, and finally, coffee. When she got to the last item, my absolute favorite beverage, I pretended to not be sure. Then we both had a good laugh. I knew at that moment that she had given me an essay title and a way to package my entire parenting collection.
Since then, Delaney has been gifting me with humor, sarcasm, and writing material on a daily basis. And since she is instrumental to this collection and to my writing life in general, it only makes sense that I interview her for one of this month’s bonus coffee chats! So here you go, friends! Fill your mugs; sit back, and enjoy a little Q & A with six-year-old Delaney Face and me!
Me: During the pandemic, you had your first coffee experience with a frappuccino. Can you tell us what you thought about it?
Delaney: Fraps taste really good. I like them. I don’t like them as much as I like you. They’re good.
Me: Why did you ask me if I liked you more than coffee?
Delaney: That’s a hard one. I was just seeing if you care about me more than you like coffee. Recently, it’s like you do.
Me: How do you feel about being in a book and having your picture on the back of it?
Delaney: Can I explain standing up? Okay, I want to feel more famous. I want people to know me more, like me more, and know who I am.
Me: I’m going to read an excerpt from one of my essays about you. Then I want you to tell me what you think.
Me: “…Delaney told me she had to go to the bathroom. She has been working on her independence in this area as well, so she goes in alone, and I check on her as necessary. After the sink had run for about five minutes, I knew it was time to check. I opened the door, and Delaney jumped. ‘You scared me!’ she said. I told her it wouldn’t be scary if she weren’t doing something wrong. Delaney had her Doc McStuffins doll under the faucet, face upright. I wondered if she had been learning about water torture in preschool…”
Delaney: (laughing hysterically) How old was I then?
Me: You were three. Do you remember that day?
Delaney: I don’t remember going upstairs and getting my doll. I remember everything else, though.
Me: What do you think I should write about in the future?
Delaney: I think you should write about me doing homework and Evan playing Minecraft. Wait. No. I think you should write a gummy bear book and say do you love me more than gummy bears.
Me: In the past, you’ve had a few problems with candy, like sneaking it, hiding it, and eating too much of it. So, I think it’s only fair if I ask you if you like me more than candy. Do you?
Delaney: Yes. I do. I love you more than candy because you’re my mom. You’re my favorite. More than candy.
Me: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Delaney: I want to be a famous person like JoJo Siwa. I don’t want to copy her. I don’t want her to think I am better than her. I also really like crafting. I like to make stuff and give it to people. It makes my life more happier. I want to make money so I can eat.
As an English teacher, it pains me greatly to not correct Delaney’s double comparison in her final response. But as a mom, I treasure her grammatical errors, malapropisms, and made up words. She often still calls a blanket a “banquet”. She uses the word “comparently” for apparently, and the tangles I comb out of her hair are “pringles”.
I’m not correcting her sayings because I know they won’t last long. All of the phases of childhood pass so quickly, and I don’t want to lose anything, including those little baby teeth, before I have to. I want to hold onto all of the cuteness as long as I can. That is a big part of why I write.
For more Delaney sayings and stories, order your copy of I Love You More Than Coffee.